Next chapter.  Now March 2013, my daughter is about to give birth to her first child, my first grandchild.  I have more emotions about this than can be described with the limited adjectives available to me.  I could use profound, humbled, excited, or just downright happy to be present and a part of my daughter's child birth experience.

Life since my last post has, of course, changed.  I had a shortlived part time with an attorney who had a hard time remembering her own name but expected me to remember everything!  I have temped with a wonderful small company dealing in document management, i.e. pulling out staples, scanning, etc. (don't knock it, low stress and you get paid), and work as a subcontractor for a court reporting company.  I won't be rich, but I do get a check every week!  I am still not divorced, mostly because I cannot deal with something that negates the last 25 plus years of my life by reducing those years to signing a few pieces of depressing paperwork.

Today has been a defining moment in this saga, however.  My husband's aunt is dying, she is in her upper 80s and the only surviving child from his father's side.  I have kept this lovely lady in touch with the family by way of Christmas cards, letting her know that two of our daughters have graduated, general family stuff.  I sent a watercolor I had done from a photo of her mother, asking for her opinion about it.  She was happy to oblige, and has always been a gracious and friendly presence.

Mostly because of my urging, my husband planned to go and see her today.  Aunt Helen is in a resthome near Clarksburg, West Virginia which is at least a four hour drive one way from where we both live.  I wanted to go, and told him that even though I knew he probably didn't want me to go, I would be happy to go anyway.  He proceeded to ask our three younger daughters if they wanted to go with him.  Our youngest child ended up going with him, which I found out when they were at least an hour into the drive.  She didn't know I had wanted to go, he didn't let me know they were leaving.

Needless to say, this hurt like hell.  I had been the one to keep in touch with his family for the best part of the last 30 years.  The kicker is, I got a text from my daughter telling me that Aunt Helen sent me her love.  This tells me that Helen had asked where I was, and I wonder what the hell he had to say!  I phoned my daughter right away to ask her to tell Helen I sent my love back.  I then proceeded to text my husband, to which about 30 minutes laster I had a text in response - "sorry".

I could go on and rant and rave about this man's cluelessness, and his self-absorption, etc, etc, but I won''t!  The saga continues.

Changing My Life - AGAIN

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, as 2011 begins its final quarter, so does my life. This year marks for me the third and. hopefully, last dramatic lifechange. At 58, I find myself (and probably like many others of similar age) separated from my other half (silly, I used to say "better" half) and facing the prospect of re-entering a somewhat hostile workforce after 15 years of staying home and raising four daughters.

Hostile? Yes, I think hostile is a good word for an entity that views you as over-qualified (don't you love hearing that) or not having a degree that qualifies you to type, file and make coffee (as in associates degree preferred..I'm sorry but for a clerical position you need an associates degree to qualify when 30 years of secretarial experience can't get you an interview). Yes, I think hostile is a very good word. Jaded, another very good word. And on the subject of words, who else hates the words closure and issues?

But enough of hostile and jaded. I am not a down kind of person although my opening tone sounds like it.  My summer started with a remarkable trip to Turkey that was planned before my husband proclaimed his revelation of wanting to spend the rest of his life without me. This did not dampen my enthusiasm for visiting Turkey as travel is really something I should be doing professionally. I do it very well, even as my aging body complains of aches and pains in places I didn't know existed before. And I am fortunate to have a strong stomach that deals with changes in food and environment also very well.

This trip gave me the chance to meet Turkish couples and their children in their homes, to meet Turkish students and visit schools, and become friendly with Darye, a wonderful young woman who chaperoned and translated. In the late 70s I was lured to Istanbul by pictures of its exotic skyline and romantic names such as The Golden Horn and Topkapi Palace which is home to the absolutely dazzling Emerald Dagger. On this trip I spent more time in Istanbul and visited Darye's family home. Her mother gave us each a teaset to remind us that there is no other tea in the world that rivals Turkish tea! A very kind and thoughtful gift, and something that typifies the nature of the Turks.

As this is my first foray into blogging, I'm not sure how long it should be so I'm going to stop here and continue later on my Turkey travels. I hope anyone (anyone......) who reads this has liked it so far. Thank you in advance.